a gray area situation : room mating!

"cleanliness is next to godliness"

"room mating" takes a great amount of patience!

humans have been living together under the same roof for centuries,

under earths sky,

however, the culture has change dramatically over time...

what was your 1st roommate experience?

if you ever had one, think back...

the first "roommate" experience i've ever had was with my family & siblings,

a glorious time, no real responsibilities except chores dictated by our parents, other than that, life was being learned,

i also had the privilege of going away for a "college experience" and had a couple roommates during that stint too,

definitely a learning curve [i will accept crime u alumni experiences too],

but then real-life hits & sets in [21 & beyond],

usually this is the time many young folks embark on their own and have their own space or just a life in general!

with the rocky financial climate [pre covid] it feels like the "living independently" route was too expensive without a 2nd income,

so many people have to resort to living with 1 or more individuals to cut cost, or save money, to keep up with the jones, etc. etc...

now i'm going to rewind for a minute,

most individuals first experience with living with people was right in their own family abode, i hope so,

i'm 1 in billions, so my experience will vary from a stranger i'd bump into on the street, however we can relate to everyday struggles and compare perspectives!

question for the audience,

did you get raised with "privilege" or "discipline" as a child?

many individuals have "no basic home training",

like with pets you can judge based off their behavior in public and more important "privately ",

as "grown-ups" or individuals that want to be "independent" there has to be some type of self-accountability when your co-habitat with temporary strangers or friends...

do you pay for maid service?

are you physically handicap?

self-aware?

if "you" made the mess "who" cleans it up?

lazy & dirty people should live by themselves; they have to many selfish red flags to ignore!

let me set a series of scenes to formulate a visual,

the saying goes "we can't choose family,

yet we can choose who are friends are & who we hang out wit", same should go for choosing roommates...

in many situations we can't choose who are roommates are, i'll dive a bit deeper,

we can't choose who are neighbors are either, so every situation needs to be handled accordingly, i rather a neighbor than a roommate, just a matter of space, comfort and privacy!

i hate living with individuals that i'm not fucking ..!.

i don't judge, i observe... and then i judge,

so many factors to consider...

hygiene, personality, belief, lifestyle are some factors need considering,

also, organizational skill, communicational skills, and mental health management to name a couple others...

unfortunately, none of that shit we can access until the journey begins,

then the episodes start,

everybody has an external filter, smiling, nodding, talking a good talk in the beginning,

yet act like a sloth on a staycation when it comes to communication and accountability!

imagine this

you live in a 4-bedroom apartment,

1.5 bath, full kitchen wit a island & eat in nook, a living room, small foyer, washer and dryer [if you can't imagine that, just use your current situation set up for the visual]

honestly,

i don't care how you keep ya room, close ya door [i aint sleeping in there] just don't let your bullshit seep out into the "common areas"...

[message] common areas should be strictly respected [all caps, no cap]

"if you saw it clean, then leave it clean",

i fucking hate excuses [flag on the play], i don't clean up after grown ass adults, male or female, or whatever you'd like to identify wit in that moment,

"bathroom surprises aren't cool either"

it's effortless to flush the toilet ..!. check before you leave, like get a sensor operated thing majig, handsfree [problem solved!]

if you fry [or just cook] food,

i guarantee there's oil splashed on the backwall, stove, counters, cabinets and obviously the floor, maybe the ceilings, i know cleaners and landlords know what i'm talking about,

go take a peek at your kitchen real quick,

back to the bathroom nightmares,

because you use soap to wash ya ass don't mean that the soap is gonna wash the shower stall too, "ring around the collar" ever heard of that saying?

well, look around the stall or tub, that white/green color stuff maybe dirty gray, looks like soap scum, how you think that shit builds up?

lack of deep cleaning maybe... they have bubble soldiers to handle that mess, almost hands free!

toothpaste is made to make your teeth clean not your sink dirty,

do you have a hole in your mouth?

if all the toothpaste is on the sink, what are you use to brush your teeth, water?

[side story]

i use to do house calls when i worked for this repair company,

no lie i had a lot of clean clients,

but sometimes i would go to some apartments,

i would need to use their lavatory and then see how they are living,

i would ignore most the shit, but the toothpaste on the sink or sticking on the side always threw me off, idk, it's a simple clean up...

smell that?

that pissy aroma lingering in the bathroom,

word of advice, if you clean the toilet bowl, clean the outside of it too, get on your knees and wipe the base,

that's a tell-tale that deep cleaning doesn't happen often [i've also freelanced as a house cleaner, just an experience plug],

if the broom & dustpan have dust on them, then the math ain't mathing, you better have one of those robot vacuums or else it means you're not utilizing cleaning equipment...

so many scenarios i can toss out there to further my point of view,

however, my question is...

"how many of y'all are guilty of these behaviors"?

if everybody cleans up after themselves, then there shouldn't be much cleaning needed to be done...

i worked as a freelance qc inspector for a couple companies, a break down, pretty much they paid me to follow up on "complaints" and to survey the units for violations that would give the landlords headache's [i represented the management not the landlord/owners]

every case ["tenant"] gets a notification about the walk thru [day, time frame etc.], probably a week before...

most the buildings i surveyed were 2 - 5 bedroom units, in condos [mid-range to high rises], brownstones, projects buildings, free standing homes etc. etc.

i was always taught,

"don't have visitors over if your space looks like a toxic storm pass thru it"...

well, that principle can be learned, yet rarely taught!

if i walk in the apartment and the common areas are suspect in sight,

i can tell the rooms will probably be a shit show,

i'm not using the bathroom or taking off my shoes [not even accepting a bottle of h2o]!

now, if the common area is clean and tidy, it's refreshing but i still move cautiously...

you can always tell which roommate is the weakest link,

you can smell them before you see their toxic existence,

many post it notes with their name reminding them to clean up,

the one roommate with the most shit in a shared space,

always leaving their dishes in the sink waiting for evolution to take over,

wearing their outside shoes in the house,

never minding their damn business like they part of the hoa committee, lol

as im writing this i can feel a roommate rolling their eyes and composing themselves because their situation is spot on to what i'm painting.

my best experienced advice on this topic is,

don't get warped into the room mating blackhole,

stay in your lane and mind your business respectfully,

execute your exit plan or lose your fucking mind,

dealing with multi personality that aren't yours to control is annoying,

imagine how many millions of people are living with somebody they hate living with,

that's the reality with room mating; it can go either way why it's such a gray area topic.

if this topic is relatable,

what was your room mating experience?

is it your past, present, or possible future?